


I’ll tell you of my dreaming

by heykittygirl



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: :)))), Drag Race, F/F, Hey y’all remember after trixie was eliminated, M/M, My little ladies :_), also kennedy Davenport and ginger and pear and violet, always in my head, and Katya angsted about it for a minute, and this is true, during the drag race, early!trixya, feat the infamous “dreaming” lip sync, featuring oc production assistants Greg and Dan, rupaul scares me so all her text is in bold, this is basically that but if they got to talk before she left, which is - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:15:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24885193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heykittygirl/pseuds/heykittygirl
Summary: My headcanon of what happens after Trixie is eliminated the first time on season 7 :) Trixie/Katya mild romance, milder angst
Relationships: Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova, Trixya
Comments: 6
Kudos: 53





	I’ll tell you of my dreaming

“ _Dreaming… oooh, dreaming is free…”_

Katya watched Trixie twist to the ground and chuckled on a shallow breath, her hands coming together magnetically as the girls on the stage hit their final poses. Lip-syncing herself in the previous week had put the fear of God in her, but watching her teammates lip sync against each other was almost _worse_. There was no magic rush to appease the pit in her stomach, nothing she could say or do… 

In her left periphery she could see Kennedy’s body turning toward her, though she didn’t dare to take her eyes off of Ru. With only the panting breaths of the performers breaking complete silence, a strangling tension settled back into the room. 

Kennedy whispered, “That was some weird shit, but I hope Pearl gets to stay so we can teach her how to pad that ass.” 

Katya feigned a smile, pressed between her lips, and kept her eyes trained on Trixie. 

Kennedy smirked at the subdued reaction and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I know.” 

On their right, Fame rocked anxiously on her heels.

 **_“Ladies. I’ve made my decision.”_ ** The booming voice of the Female deity behind the long desk returned to them, somewhat unwelcome. Trixie cracked her neck and relaxed her shoulders, and, mirror-neurons firing desperately, Katya started to relax, too. 

**_“Pearl,”_** _Hm?_

**_“Shante, you stay.”_ **

_But_ _—_

_No._

_No no no no no no no._

_Wait._ _Hold on. But the_ —? _Wait_. 

“I demand a recount,” Katya whispered.

Fame’s eyebrows screwed together. “But there’s only one vote.” 

Katya froze in place, mouth open. She didn’t know how it was possible, but everything slowed down. Pearl was crying. RuPaul asked her impatiently why. “ _I just love her so much, I feel_ _—_ ”. Trixie tried to hide behind fixing one of her lashes. **_“Alright. You may join the other girls.”_ ** On a shuddering breath, they clasped each other in a hug, and Trixie kissed Pearl’s cheek with all the tenderness and promise in the world. She whispered “ _It’s okay_ ,” and then smacked Pearl’s ass as she began the walk to go stand with the other girls, per divine instruction. Each tiny scene blurred into the next, warped like in a kaleidoscopic view of movement and sound. Katya only watched Trixie, stunned. 

_What the fuck?_

**_“Trixie Mattel. You are an amazing queen. Keep on dreaming, and keep ‘em laughing. Now, sashay away.”_ **

“Thank you.” 

Trixie turned around and walked back up the catwalk. Her face didn’t crumple at all, she just smiled sadly as she mimed blowing kisses to the girls still standing on either side of her. Fame gestured back half-heartedly. Kennedy clapped and kissed into the air. Pearl stood crying still and Max, on Pearl’s left, jumped out of line to try and catch Trixie before she disappeared. Katya, still frozen, clasped her hands before her face almost as if in prayer, kissing and gesturing them toward Trixie in total admiration. Maybe she would have moved to say something too if it felt like it was really happening… it totally, totally didn’t feel like it was really happening. 

“Byeeee!” Trixie winked and struck a pose, but — 

_No, what am I doing? I have to catch her before she goes._

But it was too late to do anything without making a scene by then. _Damn_. Katya took a deep breath and attempted to shake herself out of her state as RuPaul spoke again, bringing the stage back to life. The music played, and she moved randomly as she tried to devise the fastest course of action, to think of exactly what to say to soften up whatever crew members were standing by the workroom. She flapped her arms, bumping from side to side. 

“What the fuck? Are you okay?” Violet snorted, dancing beside her. 

“What? Oh yeah, just in the moment.” She compensated with a laugh and resumed scheming.

Shuffling off the stage in her emerald sequin gown, Katya had only one plan in mind: run. She patted Ginger’s shoulder, quickening her step as they turned the corner, “I’m gonna go find Trixie. I just need two minutes and I’ll be in the van, just tell them I’m shitting.”

Ginger gave her a strange look and laughed, not recognizing this sense of urgency from her friend. “Okay, yeah, I’ll cover you. No problem.” 

“Okay.” She took off. 

Kennedy rolled her eyes and took Ginger’s arm in Katya’s stead. “Girl, I told her that kimono dress was not green. Shit’s pewter at _best_.” 

_Fuck running in heels fuck this fuck this fuck this._

Katya darted past the Untucked lounge, past the judges’ dressing rooms and around the corner again. She stumbled as she rounded the turn and caught herself dramatically against the wall. 

As they spotted her running, the PAs standing by the cardboard french doors of the workroom held their arms out, their expressions morphing into alarm and concern. 

“Greg! Greg, _fuck_ . Dan!” Katya clapped a hand over her heart and wheezed as she caught up to the PAs, “Holy shit. I’m so sorry, I need to get into the workroom for just one second. I’m a dumbass, I forgot my… Psoriasis cream.” _Psoriasis cream?_

“Psoriasis cream?” Dan laughed and cast a quizzical look in Greg’s direction, “Is it an emergency? Can you wait until tomorrow morning?” 

“No, no, I can’t. Listen, I get really bad... _seborrheic dermatitis_ , it gets irritated by the wigs.” 

Greg smiled, “I’ll have someone bring it to the hotel, what does it look like?” 

Katya pressed the edges of her palms against her eyes, groaning on a panted breath, “It’s literally indescribable, I can’t communicate that to you. Okay — I’m sorry, you _have_ to let me in.” 

She moved her hands from her face, and the desperation in her eyes punctuated her plea. 

Greg lifted a sculpted eyebrow and glanced over at Dan, before clicking his radio and ducking his head to speak into it, “Queen entering workroom, take five.” 

Katya sighed with relief, resisting the urge to grab Greg’s bald head and kiss him. “Thank you _so much_. I’ll be out of your way in two minutes, I promise. Thank you.” 

Greg nodded stoically, and she burst through the door. 

Trixie had been looking around the workroom, puzzled as soon as she’d heard on the radio that there was another queen entering. Production was pretty strict around here (she was duct-taped into her hotel room for crying out loud), so it wasn’t exactly something she was expecting. _And wasn’t everyone supposed to be in the van already?_ She had nearly dismissed the message as a minor hallucination and gone back to packing when the doors flew open suddenly behind her, clanging against the wall noisily. She turned around, and her eyes landed on Katya, still heaving and gasping theatrically from her short run. She smiled. What a weirdo. 

“At ease, soldier.” 

“ _Trixie._ Thank god.” 

Katya speed-walked over to the other queen. Trixie’s arms opened right on cue and in a moment they were hugging tightly. Katya squeezed around her with all the gentle strength she could muster, and Trixie stroked Katya’s blonde hair back as if it was real. “Hi,” Katya breathed. She released slightly, and her hands went immediately to straightening the fan-and-flower headpiece that was now going exceptionally wonky on the top of Trixie’s wig. “How — How are you? You seem like you’re not freaking out. Are you not freaking out?” She fidgeted, eyes searching.

Trixie looked down. “I guess I just… don’t understand why I’m going home. Like, it doesn’t really make sense to me yet.” 

“Yeah, you and everyone else.” Katya sighed, laughing sadly as one of her hands landed on Trixie’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. 

She drew in a deep breath, hand falling back to her side. “Trixie... you deserve to be here. I just need you to know that… this is a _fucking_ travesty. They made the wrong decision.” She looked at her sympathetically, and then almost reverently, from under long eyelashes. For just a moment too long, she looked at her. And when Trixie looked back, the world finally stopped spinning. 

Her eyes were wet. Trixie took in her words and sniffled as well, as she felt the lump in her throat start to swell. “I, um…” She lifted her hand to push up on a false eyelash, trying to keep her composure. “Thank you. That means a lot coming from you. You know I just… _love_ what you do. You do know that, right?” Katya nodded. “Good.” Trixie sniffed. The corners of her mouth trembled on the last few words, and she quickly pulled in a breath to disguise it. But when her eyes met Katya’s again, she suddenly couldn’t help but toss her head back with a watery laugh. “God, is _that_ why you just Ally McBeal’d your way in here? To tell me that?”

Katya snorted. She doubled over and cackled, and batted at Trixie’s hand. Trixie laughed more as she reached the other hand forward to affectionately dab at a glob of smudged eyeliner that was forming below Katya’s eye. It really only made it worse, but she didn’t need to know that. 

“Yeah, it wasn’t worth it.” Katya groaned. 

Trixie shook her head and smiled, “Not at all.” She looked shyly away from Katya’s face and spotted a teal duffle bag out of the corner of her eye. “But… hey, now I can give you my porn pictures! You can keep ‘em in circulation for however long you guys have left.” She lifted the heavy bag onto the table behind her and dug out an _incredibly discreet_ envelope from one of the small pockets. She comically kissed the back of the envelope, leaving a smudge of pink lipstick, before handing it over. “Be kind to my boys, treat them with respect. You know, wear a condom.” 

Katya chuckled and accepted the envelope graciously. “Oh, of course, of course.” 

“Do you have a second? You don’t have to help me pack, but I wouldn’t mind if —” 

“No… I meant I’d love to help but no, I have to go, they’re waiting for me.” 

“Oh. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense.” Trixie’s hand flew up to rub the back of her neck, and she pulled Katya into another short hug. “Well, thanks for coming to say ‘bye’. Really, it means —” 

“I didn’t.” 

... 

“What?” Trixie pulled back. 

The words surprised Katya, too, coming out just as she made the realization. 

“I didn’t say ‘bye’,” She clarified, her voice lowering just slightly, becoming softer, almost... wilted? Trixie’s eyebrows shot up at the change, and something gentle twisted in her chest. Katya’s head tilted to the side as she studied Trixie’s face for a second longer. “I don’t think I’m going to. I have a feeling about you, like... that’s not something I’m going to have to do.” 

Trixie smiled brightly, lips parted and eyebrows knitting together in a mixture of confusion and wonder. She wasn’t speechless very often, and she didn’t like the feeling very much. “Whatever, stalker.” She nudged, deflecting. Katya laughed. 

“What does that even mean?” She laughed back. 

“Oh, I don’t know.” 

Trixie took the envelope back and reached for a pen from the cup in the center of the table. She scribbled ten little numbers on the side and handed it over again. “Call me when you get out, okay?” 

Katya smiled plaintively, watching Trixie’s hands fold the envelope back into her own. 

“I will.” 

“Okay.” 

With that, Katya turned to go. She tucked the envelope into her bra and headed back for the pink French doors. She thought about caring that she was a small bit behind her promise of a couple minutes, but she couldn’t bring herself to. 

“Katya?” Trixie started, just as Katya reached for the door handle. 

Katya turned around. “Yeah?” 

“Don’t win for me. Max already said she was gonna do that.” 

“Okay.” Katya smiled, “I won’t.” 


End file.
